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They could kick up something exciting and new. Signing up for an activity you’d never imagined yourself doing, asking people to hang out whom you’ve been too nervous to approach, being open about wanting genuine connections: These things can be a rock in your stagnant waters. That could look like any number of things. We quietly hope something or someone will disrupt the pattern, but nothing does. We become accustomed to the familiar routes of our brain: our commute to work, our favorite place to pick up food, our regularly scheduled #content. If we connected with everyone we crossed paths with, we’d run out of emotional batteries very quickly.īut I think when we already feel isolated, it becomes so easy to stay isolated. It’s no small wonder that in our contemporary lives, where our schedules rarely match up and we have so many substitutes for human interaction on tap, that we would bounce off each other more often than we connect with each other. What I am saying is that sometimes it helps me to think about AT fields, all the barriers in place that keep us from genuine connection with other people: ego, trauma, anger, pride, and so on.Įveryone, everyone has these things. I’m not advocating that we all become soup, although if that were an option, I think it’d be fun.
![lonely oh i am so lonely song lonely oh i am so lonely song](https://c.saavncdn.com/815/Oldie-Rock-Memories-Vol-1-English-2018-20180624001334-500x500.jpg)
You can know a lot of people and still not have that many genuine bonds. We are individuals, but we desperately want to connect with each other on a meaningful level. I think it takes the sense of personal failure out of the equation and asks us to consider that, well, being human is hard. I like the idea of accepting loneliness as fundamental to the human condition. The main crux of the show is overcoming AT fields: piercing them so as to kill invading aliens, but also getting rid of them altogether so that human loneliness can be overcome once and for all by returning us to primordial soup, a collective consciousness where things like pain and ego can’t keep us separate anymore. It illustrates that theme in the form of AT fields (absolute terror fields), a sort of force field every living being has that simultaneously protects them and distinguishes them as individuals. If you haven’t seen Evangelion, all you really need to know for the purpose of this column is that it deals heavily with the theme of loneliness. I promise I’m going somewhere with this, so stay with me. Have you ever seen Neon Genesis Evangelion, SS? It’s an anime. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Not being confident or “not loving yourself enough” or however you want to phrase it are valid concerns, but they are not grounds for you to mistreat yourself, nor do they preclude you from having warmth in your life. But sometimes we get so familiar with the shapes we’ve made that we forget we made them in the first place, and they begin to look like plain old reality. When we look at the facts of our lives, and when we have too much time on our hands, we tend to make constellations.
![lonely oh i am so lonely song lonely oh i am so lonely song](https://img.youtube.com/vi/djU4Lq_5EaM/hqdefault.jpg)
In the beginning, you couple your situation with a sense of personal failing: You’re unable to love yourself, and that’s why you’re lonely. But I want to point out something I noticed first.
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Your letter went a few different directions (as our minds often do when hurting). I have hope for a future life filled with other gays. I was supposed to have found my tribe by now, people I can be comfortably, openly affectionate and loving with, platonic or otherwise. I’m sick of not being related to, or relating to, my closest female friends. I’m just so tired of nothing lasting longer than a handful of months. The thought of redownloading dating apps again makes me want to cry. I have two bi friends I could ask to come with me to gay bars, but we’re all on different work schedules. Part of this might be my fault for not getting involved in clubs as a student, I dunno. I know couples and single LGBT folk peripherally, but no one on a close level. I just long for the teen romance I never fully got. It’s not that I judge others for meeting that way. I feel so ashamed that I’m almost 23 and half of the flings I’ve had have started online. Do you have any advice on, uh, not being able to love your identity or be confident in your sexuality (I’m a lesbian)?